Friday, 29 December 2017

Lets talk - Mum guilt


So as im writing this im sat in bed winding down ready to go to sleep, and all i can think about is what an awful job ive done today as a mum, ive not played with her enough, ive let her eat too much junk food, ive been on my phone too much, i havnt taken her out today, ive been too busy cleaning and not paying her attention, the list is endless.

And im wondering is this normal? Does every mum feel like this? Well i ended up posting in a mum group and i realised i am not alone! Which is why i wanted to write this blog post so if you reading this are in the same situation and you find yourself in bed every night feeling guilty then dont worry because we all are. 

One thing im going to try and do to make myself feel better is structure a loose timetable for the day, just a simple plan of what we are doing etc. So things like, walk into town in the morning, have lunch then do some arts and crafts in the afternoon, followed by tea, bath time and bedtime. Then at least i can go to bed thinking shes had a good day, shes not been stuck in bored. And again a loose plan for food so porridge for breakfast, ham sandwich for lunch with an orange and crisps, and for tea spag bowl. Then hopefully i will go to bed knowing that shes eaten well and its not been a last minuet thrown together mess.

Having said all that some days are just a complete write off. Today it was raining and i was struggling with my hips (im currently 28 weeks pregnant) so i felt i couldnt possibly leave the house, but instead of sitting and moping around i probably should have had a plan of some indoor activities we could have done. And this is where i think my loose timetable will come in handy! 

Its ok to have a bad day and not do much, its ok to feel guilty were all in the same boat trying to do our very best so our little ones can have a good life, but the reality of it is no one is perfect and sometimes we need to give ourselves a pat on the back just for simply getting through the day! Our little ones love us just as much as we love them and they know we are trying! And one day when they eventually have children they will realise how bloody amazing we are and all we have been through!

Being a mum is the best thing ive ever done, its made me so happy and feel this intense love that i never knew existed, but at the same time it can be sad and lonely and we often judge ourselves a little too much. But as long as were trying our very best thats all that matters.

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