Monday, 27 June 2016
15 Things you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman/new mummy
Sorry i havnt posted in a while, so some of this is what i have experienced personally and a lot of it isnt but i have heard from friends etc.
Firstly never tell a pregnant woman or new mum that she looks tired or ill (how is that not insulting) instead ask her how she's doing, if she says fine shes fine!
When are you going to put pictures of the baby up? Give them a chance to enjoy there little baby before they start posting photos everywhere (if they even want to) and if you want to be nosey and see what the baby looks like make some bloody effort and have a visit! The last thing i wanted to do is shove a camera in my newborn babys face and i personally didnt want her plastered on facebook but i didnt quite have the choice in the end.
Dont start discussing babysitting duties before the baby is born or straight after, let them know your there when you need them (dont repeat yourself) but dont start saying how your going to be doing all these things before the mum has had a chance to spend time with her baby, the last thing on her mind is handing her precious little bundle over.
Cuddles - Personally i think its best not to ask for cuddles (i never have to other peoples children) let the mum come to you and offer the baby, she may not be ready just yet and if she isn't respect that it will all come in time! Putting pressure on her is only going to send her the other way! Also if you have had a cuddle dont expect to have the baby again 5 minuets later, a baby is a human and dosnt like to be passed around!
Never say you look tiny or huge or that you cant see the bump, i had mainly small comments when i was pregnant and i personally wanted my bump to show and not to look 'tiny' but also i know people also dont want to feel huge so just avoid commenting on the size and just tell them how god damn good they look!
If the mum is breastfeeding (like i am) dont question if the baby is latching properly when she complains of sore boobs (breastfeeding IS supposed to give you sore nipples) its a completely new feeling and it takes some getting used to, but questioning if the baby is getting enough milk or latching properly is only going to put pressure on the new mum.
Know when advice is wanted and when it isnt. Your going to have to judge the situation but just observe the mum and know when she wants advice, if you have just told her to give the baby a dummy instead of feeding it and she dosnt look like shes taking it on board leave it at that.
Is the baby here yet? well obviously not else you would know about it! Stop asking women this! From about 38 weeks onwards i had 5 messages a day asking if the baby was here and i was 5 days overdue so you can just imagine my pain. I myself was frustrated that my baby wasnt here and having people ask me every 5 minuets just got on top of me!
You look uncomfortable - well yes i have a small human growing inside of me squishing all my organs thanks for pointing it out captain obvious!
You look hungry, your eating for two now! No i just have a growing belly with a baby inside im not a human skip, please dont keep offering me food if i say im not hungry im not! Dont try and tempt me by saying im eating for two!
Your too young/old to have a baby sorry i didnt realise there was a rule on what age you have to be, just because a mum is young or old dosnt make her any worse or better than anyone else!
Was is planned? who cares if it was planned this is such a personal question, they may have been trying for months maybe years and struggled and the last thing they want is everyone knowing how hard it was. Or maybe it wasnt planned it dosnt make the baby any less wanted or make you irresponsible.
What does your husband think/when are you going to get married stop being so old fashioned people you dont need to be married to have a baby i personally want my children to witness my wedding, but if i didnt want to get married thats also ok!
Dont eat/drink that its bad for the baby i stopped all my caffeine
intake when i was pregnant i had one glass of coke once and a lovely colleague of mine decided to point out that i was harming my unborn child and i was such a terrible mum, sorry am i not alowed to treat myself now and then there are people doing drugs whilst pregnant for christ sake!
Morning sickness will stop soon for your information everyone is different i was sick right up until i gave birth! Thanks for being an expert though!
Comment below if you have any others to add, i had such a laugh reading my friends/families views on this!
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